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It Only Rings When I'm in the Bathroom - 365 Short Stories
This text will be replaced by the flash music player.

Uncle Harry had no answering machine because hardly anyone ever called. Most of his friends and relatives were already dead. He had outlived them all, even though he smoked and drank most of his life. So much for all their talk about clean living, he sometimes thought.

The only person who talked to Uncle Harry regularly was his nephew Teddy. Teddy called several times a week, just for a few minutes to say hello and see if everything was OK. Some days Teddy had to call twice or more because Uncle Harry didn't answer the first phone call. When he finally did get through, Uncle Harry would chastise Teddy for his bad timing. How do you always manage to call me when I'm in the bathroom? he would ask.

Tuesday morning, Teddy let the phone ring ten times. He then hung up and went back to work. That afternoon he called Uncle Harry again. Again, no answer. A couple of hours later, he called again. Still no answer. He called Ira, Uncle Harrys next-door neighbor.

Hello, said Ira.

Hi, Ira, this is Teddy.

Hi, Teddy. How are you?

Oh, Im fine, Ira. But Im a little worried about Uncle Harry. I called him three times today and he didnt answer once. I dont think he could have been in the bathroom all three times, do you?

No, I dont think so, laughed Ira. He does complain about that, doesnt he? Anyway, Ill go next door and see whats up. If he doesnt open the door, I know where he hides his spare key. Ill call you back in a bit, okay?

Okay, Ira. Thanks a lot, Teddy said.

A while later, Teddys phone rang. It was Ira. He sounded shaken. Teddy, Im sorry it took so long. I have bad news. Harry didn't answer the door, so I used his spare key. He was dead, Teddy. Im sorry.

Oh, my gosh! Thats terrible!

I called the hospital, and they told me to call the coroners office. The coroner said they were busy, and wouldnt be able to make it here until tomorrow or the day after.

What happened? Did he fall? Did he die in his sleep? Is he lying on the bed with a peaceful look on his face?

Not exactly, Teddy. Hes lying on the bathroom floor with a look of surprise on his face. We can move him to his bed later. But right now Ive got to go home, Teddy. I think I might be in shock or something. I dont feel right.


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Cloze   Crossword 1
A. Yes/No Questions   B. Wh- Questions   C. Ask Questions   D. Dictation

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